However, after sleeping with me the first time he was distant, avoided sex, stared at other women, put me down, etc. I tried to break up many times but each time I raised an issue he fixed it. He is smart, handsome, incredibly kind, earnest, affectionate, loves me to pieces, is devoted to his family, etc. I’m in the middle of job hunting and received some great offers on the other side of the country, which I’ve turned down. Some days I’m confident in my choice and other days I think I’m crazy for basing life decisions around someone who mistreated me. I did'nt have the nurve to asking him what did he mean by it so I left it alone. I would like to know what it means and have any men out there had a simular experience? The fact that he would mistreat you at all seems to be a character issue, and that is absolutely a huge red flag to me. Perfect ever since that rocky first month, I don’t see how you can give greater weight to his previous behavior than his more recent behavior. I would say that the kind of person who is distant, puts you down, avoids sex and breaks hearts is a high-risk partner – the kind who may not have the capacity to make ANY woman happy. It makes a difference if you’re 25, 35, or 55, you know? It makes a difference if you have to be in a specific city to do your job or if you can do it anywhere. It makes a difference culturally and financially where you choose to plant roots. It makes a difference in how much time you have to invest on a risky relationship. But I would suggest that two years in, you may or may not be positive that you are meant to be married, but you should be sure of one thing: Your life goals and your boyfriend’s life goals are one and the same. In other words, you should know him well enough, and have strong enough communication to know if he ultimately wants to get married, have kids, whether he’s ambitious, and where he wants to live.
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