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Dating and intimacy after divorce

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When you are emotionally intimate with a spouse, you feel as if you can see into the other’s soul, knowing their hopes, dreams, and fears and understanding them at a deep level.

Relationships that lack emotional intimacy are often characterized by a lack of trust, poor communication, secrets and hidden emotions.

So consider turning off the computer, television, video game console, cell phone and tablet when you are together and spend some time talking and sharing.

One tool that many successful couples use is silencing their cell phones and dropping them in a little basket or box by the door as they come home and agreeing to leave them off for at least an hour or two when they are together.

Today, I want to get into specifics on staying sexually pure. After being married and having a sex life, it can feel excruciatingly slow to back everything up to holding hands, then a soft kiss, then a lingering kiss, and then a more passionate kiss . If you add sex into the mix, you’ll feel prematurely attached and less able to see them clearly. I realize it may feel like you don’t have that kind of time, but slow isn’t years. We cannot do this on our own, so seek out all the Christian resources you need to stay sexually pure. One couple decided to have a cup of steaming hot cocoa or herbal tea together during that half hour so that they felt more relaxed and able to engage in good conversation.Then this same therapist suggested a weekly date night.Deep and meaningful emotional intimacy in a relationship depends on the quality of human interaction.Texting and emailing are important, but they tend to distract from real emotional intimacy if there is not a solid, human, one-on-one interaction.Restoring emotional intimacy when it is lost can be very tough – a lot tougher in fact than working hard to preserve it along the way.For example, a woman recently divorced from her husband and wrote that she was totally blindsided by her husband's leaving.Several couples he worked with found friends with whom to trade child care so that one couple went out on Friday night while the other babysat, and then they switched the following evening.Other couples plan a lunch together once or twice a week so that they can increase the time they spend together. I should have relationships and sex all figured out by now right? Now that is exposed, I want to tell you where I am now and seek some prayerful wisdom.After all I am over half a century old with an adult son and a daughter in High School. Some advisers tell me that I need to wait until I am dead, well almost dead to start dating again.