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My date has only the fondest memories of watching his dad court his mom on their weekly date nights and annual parent-only vacations — in addition to the family road-trip. “My dad made it clear that his relationship with my mom was the center of everything, while he was also the best dad ever,” he said.) highlighted a 2005 essay by Aylete Waldman about the fact that she puts her husband and their fantastic sex life above their four kids. Four children with whom I spend a good part of every day: bathing them, combing their hair, sitting with them while they do their homework, holding them while they weep their tragic tears. If a good mother is one who loves her child more than anyone else in the world, I am not a good mother. In the event you don’t seek a romantic partner, where do you focus that energy if not on your children? Looking forward to that business trip even though you have to leave the kids at home?

Chatx x x

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I'm here if you need a chatx Hi Alana, yes please do keep writing on the forum.

There are many others who feel like you do & you're right about the lonelines & isolation being so incredibly hard. Do you have any family or friends nearby you can reach out too?

Chatx x x-3

It adds a different dimension to grief although anger guilt loneliness come in all grief.

It's such a shame that you can't talk with his family, I really needed to hear people talking about my mum, I have got comfort from that.

I wonder if Priscilla can put you in touch with some local support with other people who know exactly what you're going through? I am thinking of you today, as you say more bad news is coming.

I'm finding it extremely difficult to get motivated and do stuff , I find I'm just sitting staring into space all day, which I know isn't a good thing.

I have no one to share the mourning with, and that's extremely hard.

So far this year, including my partner I've lost 3 people within 4 days of each other, and tomorrow I am expecting/know I am going to hear some really bad news. x Hi Alan a I am so, so sorry to hear you have all this bereavement to deal with and such tragic circumstances.

I know that staring into space thing, it's like you simply cannot function.

Take it one day at a time for now and be gentle on yourself.

His funeral was yesterday, exactly 7 weeks to his passing away.

Talking and sharing helps and though no answers a listening ear can help. My son had a best friend who tried to commit suicide and luckily my son called to see him that day and managed to save his life and get him help but a few months later his friend actually managed to kill himself and this time there was no-one there to stop him.

My son was devastated, he had known his friend for most of his school days and they still went out together, he used to come to our house for meals and stay over.